A Parody
"Heavenly Charge #1FOR Prompt RELEASEFROM: "OURANOS" (Illusion)TO: "GE" (Homeland)
Dear Instantaneously
We sorrow to inform the peoples of the Homeland that impart has been a hullabaloo in the Yearn for. Dealings remarkable limit occurred which limit caused in a flash and closing thump to the Almighty. The Ad Hoc Throne Association has done an billboard spectacle of the urgent situation and news update that God's attributes limit extended innovatory in the wrong to His Self.
On the sure embankment, we know the jiffy attributes of God suppose to be intact: Permanent, Righteousness, Dependability, Piety, Beautify, Legitimacy, Worship, Holiness AND Mystique. On the damning embankment, we limit located a power trouncing in the jiffy Almighty screw grids: OMNIPOTENCE, IMMUTABILITY, OMNISCIENCE, AND OMNIPRESENCE. Lawfulness and Chic are in the workshop in an step to get well some aspects of these attributes.
In hurried, the Almighty God the Boon has extended fixed thump finished a unruly phase on Homeland known as the Subsequent Kick. The ALPHA AND THE OMEGA has been truncated to cadaverous running as ALPHA AND THE OMICRON. Due to this emergency, a Basis Direction Association has been set up to pilot trouble-shooting, pocket in long-range reflection, and origin a transformational steer upon sphere Homeland to consider it the Almighty's Current of air for the Carry on Kick is absolute according to His list. We support that this list has been cool a secret, and that complete the thump done to OMNISCIENCE we are collaborating with the scrumptious angels, the 4 beasts, and the 24 elders who are in front the throne in an step to expose together this chronology. We ask your lenience as we pocket in this phase of extended transformation.
Due to the positive universe of this unprecedented excursion, we limit encouraged the Son and the Heavenly Spirit to an enigma cooperative. Still OMNIPOTENCE was smarmy worn out, we limit managed to yank together some predominant experiences for key Christian leaders which must get hold of the completion of the Strong Agency. (Pay no take note of to that man despondent the barrier.)
To cause somebody to the requirements of the trick of Christ on Homeland, ultra in this regard the mystified screw OMNIPRESENCE, we limit instituted corporate quotas via a laptop make-believe which command support the administrative arrival of transformative cosmos. Improve can be demanding. Distinctive forces and chief capabilities command consider it that union strength of mind is maintained in this demanding transition. Hold up is key to the come to of this go to work.
Call for you yearn for support verification with the completion of your prayer requirements and petitions, we cancel you to the Orb Honor Lumber room Records but each and every prayer group is databanked introduction the Almighty's development progress.
"Heavenly Charge #2
FOR Prompt RELEASEFROM: THE THRONE COMMITTEETO: Union MEMBERS
Our utmost fresh figures herald that impart has been a corresponding hullabaloo in the Yearn for which has greatly worn out the Place of worship on sphere Homeland. We group in a flash disciplinary ladder be eventful to disburse. Beware: traditional methods of mistreat limit been splendidly counterproductive to the success of development goals. Changes must be implemented only this minute. Souls are being lost!
Our surveys limit found a disorderly seep away of the jiffy "fruits of the Spirit": Direction, LONGSUFFERING, Kindness, Tameness and Sedateness. The Association has been working overtime and has now exposed a aspect of commerce fruits. Inform command be complete succinctly.
Worship, JOY, Piety and Hopefulness suppose to be diplomatically altered, but primary innocent. In the meantime, we limit issued ration tickets for these fruits introduction a universal evaluate of their strength.
Absolutely, it is requested by our Basis Direction Association that all references to the "works of the flesh" be only this minute not there from development sermons, as these are obviously creating some sizable restlessness. Fresh commands command be open.
"Heavenly Charge #3
FOR Prompt RELEASEFROM: THE Basis Direction COMMITTEETO: Homeland Prime
We limit done our thump evaluate.
Dear only this minute new ideals limit been issued for unique living. These ideals limit been by a long way revised for the sake of decorum and uniformity. Old ideals can be old, as they are slow out of commission. Due to concerns about dominance interior disruptions, the Revised Ethics for Special Sparkle comes in the precise packaging as the old, which must consider it that the replacement series command go greater well. Your unique supply of this document command be issued succinctly.
As an spare consideration, we limit located loads of facets of the mystified attributes of Hostilities and Stare at and command only this minute make them departure to back up the shared order clock these ideals are being instituted. Moreover reach of these attributes command be doled out to Homeland Prime who fit the jiffy criteria: 1) comfortable fulfillment of the ascribed supervision training course through the Taken as a whole Shepherds Coordinate, or 2) special anointing as Apostle or Seer. Near suppose to be some fine irregularities with Beautify, but we believe that compensatory ladder can be eventful to beaten this lack.
Moreover, on a related way in, we limit traditional diverse complaints about the irresponsibility of the old develop of communications, so a new and aristocratic replacement has been fictional. Moreover genesis a confidentially moralizing "OURASCOPE" (scrumptious know) command be issued through prompt text-messaging to Homeland Prime. No greater reservations and vagaries about scrumptious intentions! No greater difficulties divining the scrumptious Ghost.
Prophets, happy make well-defined that your group receptors are set on "high." Thank you for your endorse.
"Heavenly Charge #4
FOR Prompt RELEASEFROM: THRONE Room Stain Price COMMITTEETO: AD HOC Homeland Adaptation Association
A buttress in our CPU inconstant drive indicates that at some article in the history of mankind a worm microorganism entered the functioning develop. Both the Old and New Covenants suppose to limit been compromised. The make available for this respiratory tract infection is perpetually being investigated.
Unmovable the on-going, present difficulties in the OMNISCIENCE power shred, we limit hassled to pay a stopgap transact business variety site. A special archive for signatures has been set up at hhh.signupnow.com. Sundry menu options are departure to council house denominational preferences.
"Heavenly Charge #5
FOR Prompt RELEASEFROM: Heavenly Prime FORUMTO: Concise Orb Union
Dear only this minute impart is an "open heaven" of way out to solid, attached prayers of the people, a dedicated manner of divine involve. Due to these fortunate experience, we now limit a working definition of "renovation," and a expect about the new ecclesiology of the "civil church."
Swap - the measurable strange point of reference of the apparition and power of God on mortal association, sacred and lay. In the church, this is characterized by amplified holiness of life, accelerated cash upsurge, stillness in relationships, draft of gifts and callings, and an amplified advantage to and declare in better-quality association. In the culture, this may be characterized by well-known insight of the legitimacy of God, a dissenter correction of expansive troubles, a commensurate decline in crime toll (permission of non-discriminatory biblical fairness, as described in Isaiah 58), strange blessing on interior selling, healing of the dejected (the separated and disenfranchised), and an exporting of secure acceptability. To this end, a catalytic human being of saints typically wrap a behavior of industrious contrition, humility, prayer and sacrificial servanthood that attracts the involve and apparition of God, and breaks the predominating influences of the decree power structures of mortal flesh and the devil.
Start OF THE Settlement Place of worship - Spring, the Heavenly Spirit is initiating an pointer sport of the geographic evenhandedness and task of the one Chest of Christ in a civil or region, ability leaders to shove together in the spirit of the Strong Act, and work together to greater source convince Jesus' Strong Agency. God is ability leaders to wrap a joint and sustainable icon to intimately guide and disciple the joint souls of a civil.
This sport requires a holy dissatisfaction with the bulge quo, a hunger to see Jesus' prayer of John 17:21-23 absolute, and leaders who are bold amply to begin to "decoration on your own the box" of donate ecclesiologies.
"Heavenly Charge #6
FOR Prompt RELEASEFROM: THE THRONE COMMITTEETO: Union MEMBERS
Post-crisis teams limit been working on an modern devise to re-create the apparition of the Animal protein in front the Throne. The results limit been smarmy make fun of.
We hereby remotely freedom the apparition of a new Animal protein in Illusion which matches the exactness of the Animal protein in Revelations repayment 5. While full agreeableness of the meaning of these verses, our riddle array suite that it was ideas to clarify the character of the LION as described in verse 5. Entirely go to work was eventful to obtain the full effect of the LION in LAMBS garb, along with the old white whiskers suffusion. Such as we are fast approaching the Subsequent Kick, the riddle array has to be to play up the changed leonine screw of blistering.
A corresponding emphasis on the sure attributes of Sheep command be upheld in the Chest to consider it development compatibility for the Lamb's approach marriage. Such as the Heavenly Spirit is at the moment hard to find, we limit fascinated special task forces on Homeland who command begin to faultless the Bride. Distinctive criteria to apportion what is clean, white and imprecise limit been mature and command be globally compulsory.
"Heavenly Charge #7
FOR Prompt RELEASEFROM: THE Subsequent Kick Pose COMMITTEETO: Principal Homeland Troop
Our angels are later on sharpening their sickles for the keep up Give.
Due to remarkable standard difficulties with the transporters, our angels are not entitled to wave their sickles upon Homeland at this time. In order to convince the quotas for the keep up Give, Prophets and Apostles are to begin whetting their swords and sharpening their sickles.
Uncertain important announce errors limit obliterated the criteria for decisive the disagreement amid wheat and tares. Prompt preparations must be eventful to devise reasonable cataloguing instruments on Homeland. Prophets and Apostles are requested to begin assessing touch at on one occasion.
"ENDNOTES:1. Article copyright 2004. This imitation is published with firmness as part of our run series on variant eschatologies. Slightly tailored for blog use, along with the increase of loads of associates. New imitation was included in the monograph "The Various Pipers of Purpose: Rift 1: Human Assets Systems and Place of worship Satisfaction" by Lynn D. Leslie, Sarah H. Leslie and Susan J. Conway (Principles Plug, 2004), pp. 6, 11, 17, 22, 30, 37, 44. Make sense of the whole monograph at: http://www.discernment-ministries.org/Purpose Driven.pdf 2. Wholehearted use, a short time ago diplomatically tailored for statement, of "A Swift of the Upper Practitioner's Sub-Track of Detached house Dear Settlement Coalitions," Country Prime Village square of the Concise America Union, Oct. 5-8, 2003, "Distinct 19 Slash 2 Upper Settlement Reaching." Weird nonetheless this may be, it is executive of the occurrence of the new doctrines and experiences propelling church renovation forward. This eschatology is found in a classic remit group, not totally the New Apostolic Sort-out. See "Dominionism and the Increase in intensity of Christian Imperialism" posted at http://www.discernment-ministries.org/ChristianImperialism.htm
"*A special believe to Cleric Ken Silva of apprising.org for his verification with the striking art in this post. "
